How You Know You're BFFs
1. Sharing music via one set of earbuds.
2. Calling the person four times a day before lunch, even if the person sits less than thirty feet away.
3. IM'ing the person at least that many times (again, before lunch), carrying on one IM conversation for fifty-three minutes (and 3,646 misspelled and egregiously ungrammatic sentence constructions).
4. Going to the bathroom together.
5. You've shared your really embarrassing story, you know, the one about having explosive diarrhea or the time you sneezed your tampon out.
6. You make songlists titled: "Girls Night Out Cabin Fever Fall 2006!" and "WWJD?" (As In, What Would Jem Do? As in, Jem of the cartoon Jem and the Holograms and Misfits fame, punk rocker dolls from the 1980s) and "Easy Listenin' for Hangovers" and leave them as gifts at the start of each new work week.
7. You send attachments with the subject heading "Omg you have to read this!!!" and instead of the YouTube video that you've been waiting to see from The Colbert Report, and one in a format that will actually play at work (as YouTube has recently been banned from work), you will get some chain thing having to do with women and chocolate, or it's something gross, like a graphic description of the Smurfs having an orgy.
8. You'll get a manicure together.
9. And go to the Steve Madden sale together.
10. People will start to confuse you for the other person, at which point you will realize your SWF plan to become that other person is working, and you are that much closer to having carte blanche with her savings account, credit cards, wardrobe, her intelligence, sense of humor, collection of all the seasons of Jeeves and Wooster and The Black Adder and Monty Python's Flying Circus, and most importantly of all, her boyfriend, because we all know (hello!) that everyone's in love with you, everyone's obsessed with you.
Tiresias has swallowed a bitter pill. She is going to bed now.
2. Calling the person four times a day before lunch, even if the person sits less than thirty feet away.
3. IM'ing the person at least that many times (again, before lunch), carrying on one IM conversation for fifty-three minutes (and 3,646 misspelled and egregiously ungrammatic sentence constructions).
4. Going to the bathroom together.
5. You've shared your really embarrassing story, you know, the one about having explosive diarrhea or the time you sneezed your tampon out.
6. You make songlists titled: "Girls Night Out Cabin Fever Fall 2006!" and "WWJD?" (As In, What Would Jem Do? As in, Jem of the cartoon Jem and the Holograms and Misfits fame, punk rocker dolls from the 1980s) and "Easy Listenin' for Hangovers" and leave them as gifts at the start of each new work week.
7. You send attachments with the subject heading "Omg you have to read this!!!" and instead of the YouTube video that you've been waiting to see from The Colbert Report, and one in a format that will actually play at work (as YouTube has recently been banned from work), you will get some chain thing having to do with women and chocolate, or it's something gross, like a graphic description of the Smurfs having an orgy.
8. You'll get a manicure together.
9. And go to the Steve Madden sale together.
10. People will start to confuse you for the other person, at which point you will realize your SWF plan to become that other person is working, and you are that much closer to having carte blanche with her savings account, credit cards, wardrobe, her intelligence, sense of humor, collection of all the seasons of Jeeves and Wooster and The Black Adder and Monty Python's Flying Circus, and most importantly of all, her boyfriend, because we all know (hello!) that everyone's in love with you, everyone's obsessed with you.
Tiresias has swallowed a bitter pill. She is going to bed now.
posted by hobos in space @ 8:52 PM
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