Queen for a Day

The call came in late last night from a crippled Tiresias: “Cass? It’s me Ti. [Cough, cough, sigh] I predict I will NOT be in tomorrow.”
So as Queen for the Day, or VP for the Day here at Hobos Inc, I’m enacting the follow policies (effective immediately):
*Carolina Hurricanes MUST NOT win the Stanley Cup, ever.
*Cheerleaders of Carolina Hurricanes or any other new, freakish, thieving franchise must be disbanded, never to shake, romp, or bounce ever again.
*All Hobos Inc employees that insist on displaying childish toys & figurines in their cubicles, must hide them away as a penitent and conscious adult would in the first place.
*Today is Van Morrison Day on the iTunes: rock it, live it, love it
*Anyone sporting leggings will be removed from the premises.
*Foreign language chatterers in the bathroom are distracting others from doing their business. They will remain silent when using the facilities.
*It is NOT okay to pee on the steps of Hobos Inc, fellow hobos; that’s what Penn Station is for.