Possibly a hobo outing that doesn't require waiting in line 18+ hours

Long live the dream ... for next year. Because after reading this article about the legendary lines for free tickets to Shakespeare in the Park, I wasn't about to set up my Coleman camp for the night in the park where my dog gets attacked by the local hobos.

I heard it was uneven and that Meryl Streep carried the whole performance, and the play (Bertold Brecht's Mother Courage) was extremely relevant for the times but hardly received mentions, and who wants to wait in stinking line even for five hours ... so I guess I'm not so disappointed.

After having spent my night grievous and cursing over how there is no such thing as free entertainment in this city, I discovered that there could be such a thing ... with a tiny, tiny price.

It's today. And tomorrow. And I get advance notice of like three hours. The Met is performing Rigoletto tonight and La Traviata tomorrow, both at the Great Lawn at 8:00pm.

It's free. Though you know what that means.

Get there early. Bring reinforcements. And whatever you do, forget that all your outdoor entertainment experiences are from below the Mason-Dixon line, so don't break out your rebel yell after the arias. Just don't do it. And there won't be fireworks. And you won't be serenaded by Lee Greenwood singing "I'm proud to be an American." That would just be bad. And no one is, these days.

Proud. To be an American, that is.

So come out tonight and tomorrow and pretend to be part of the 19th Century high-class set and listen to some Verdi. For free. With that scuzzy bit of wine leftover from last month's high-flying trip to Trader Joe's. And the last bag of hardtack crackers.