Eva, My Love
Eva Longoria was born and raised near Corpus Christi, Texas, the youngest of four, and had dreams of being a star. She has accomplished exactly this as the sultry heart-breaking duplicitous Gabrielle of Desperate Housewives, the runaway ABC hit from 2004 that gave bourgeois women who read Oprah magazine and drank free-trade coffee out of ceramic mugs made by vegan pottery artisans another reason to get together Sunday nights to eat potluck Tuscany-inspired dinners and listen to Diana Krall. “Don’t you miss Sex and the City?” they would sigh. Ever an introspective and free-thinking child, one of her first scientific hypotheses during her formative years was her belief that she had been adopted, so different in appearance was she from the rest of the family, they so fair, she so dark. This author can offer no proof as to whether this hypothesis was ever proved.
Before Housewives, there was The Bold and the Beautiful, The Young and the Restless, General Hospital, and Beverly Hills 90210, where she played a flight attendant on the episode “I Will Be Your Father Figure.” Before the nubile young and French-descended Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs, there was Tyler Christopher. Before she turned thirty, she was a wallflower, an ugly duckling, just another sweatpants girl with dreams and a degree in kinesiology (P.E., my friends), waiting to be noticed and worshipped and paid a quarter million per episode. Before she turned thirty, she was popular and well-liked in high school, and went on to play beautiful people in the soaps. If Ms. Longoria is a wallflower, then Marcia Cross is the spinster in the attic. If this were the case, Teri Hatcher is a buck-toothed wild monkey escaped from the Alabama zoo and Felicity Huffman is a blonde gorilla.
Among Ms. Longoria’s many accomplishments is her turns of phrase. Fresh, shocking, pretty, sometimes, but always entertaining. “Surely there are more beautiful women in the world. I can name ten.” She has plans to enter the film industry after Housewives. This is her first novel.
Before Housewives, there was The Bold and the Beautiful, The Young and the Restless, General Hospital, and Beverly Hills 90210, where she played a flight attendant on the episode “I Will Be Your Father Figure.” Before the nubile young and French-descended Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs, there was Tyler Christopher. Before she turned thirty, she was a wallflower, an ugly duckling, just another sweatpants girl with dreams and a degree in kinesiology (P.E., my friends), waiting to be noticed and worshipped and paid a quarter million per episode. Before she turned thirty, she was popular and well-liked in high school, and went on to play beautiful people in the soaps. If Ms. Longoria is a wallflower, then Marcia Cross is the spinster in the attic. If this were the case, Teri Hatcher is a buck-toothed wild monkey escaped from the Alabama zoo and Felicity Huffman is a blonde gorilla.
Among Ms. Longoria’s many accomplishments is her turns of phrase. Fresh, shocking, pretty, sometimes, but always entertaining. “Surely there are more beautiful women in the world. I can name ten.” She has plans to enter the film industry after Housewives. This is her first novel.
posted by hobos in space @ 5:16 PM
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