Top Ten Reasons Why Tiresias Quit myspace.com Within Twenty-Four Hours

10. Already have two blogs.

9. Plus six email accounts.

8. Plus an amazon wish list that grows exponentially longer.

7. My pictures are all grainy and washed-out, mostly from the fact that I don’t have a camera, merely a camera phone, which is only good for photographs that make people look both anemic and obese at the same time.

6. No pictures of Tiresias. See above for reasons.

5. The interface is ugly.

4. The one person who invited me to join myspace kept sending rapid-fire two-word responses, and I, Tiresias, crippled by time constraints, depression, sleep deprivation, constipation, meetings, dog-walking obligations, and other kinds of exhaustion related to the need for constant foot-washing in the summer, just could not keep up.

3. What I wrote when myspace.com asked why I wanted to cancel my profile: I’m too old for this…

2. Plus I have no friends.

1. Plus I’m BLIND.